


Vienna

by clestiels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse (Supernatural), And make Buddie canon, Angst, Cas gets stoned, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Cause I feel like studs would suit him, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Dean also has earrings, Human Castiel (Supernatural), I just wanted to add 911 characters, Idiots in Love, M/M, Michael is a jerk, Sword of Michael (Supernatural), They/Them Pronouns For Castiel (Supernatural), This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Yet..., but nothing bad happens, i need help and we've established this, killing two birds with one stone, kind of ooc, no beta we die like castiel going to the empty, no beta we die like men, slowburn, so theres mentions of drugs, sort of crossover but not really, surprise shawty, there is not a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 22:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30129975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clestiels/pseuds/clestiels
Summary: Castiel, still trying to work out emotions and feelings, has to face the world falling apart and how people feel knowing angels have ditched the Earth and left the Angel of Thursday down there to rot. But that's not how they see it.Join Cas as they deal with learning what it's like to love and lose, how to fight without armies and wings, and most importantly, how to be human. Of course, with the help of his good pal Dean Winchester. Enjoy them struggle together; it's painful.
Relationships: Bela Talbot & Dean Winchester, Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel & Jo Harvelle, Castiel & Michael (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Endverse Castiel/Endverse Dean Winchester, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Jo Harvelle & Dean Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Lee Webb & Dean Winchester, Michael & Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Vienna

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I'm going to actually attempt to write a slowburn for once. I hope you stick around cause I, with the help of my friend JJ (hey JJ) have some pretty exciting ideas on where this could go. I'm still fairly rusty, so bare with me with any typos or anything like that, and uhh yeah enjoy :D
> 
> Thank you for making this happen JJ I could not be more excited

Cas always knew that once Dean walked out the doors, he might never come back. The world just worked that way now, and it was a tough pill to swallow, but they had to. They knew, and so they savoured each and every moment with the hunter. Though, they knew not to "touch the merchandise" as Dean would put it, and Cas was alright with that, they supposed. They'd watch from afar, and rather guiltily enjoy the view of Dean working and protecting, and they wondered if Dean used to do the same when it was Cas doing the working and protecting. Probably not, but maybe in a parallel universe. It was different now, not being able to watch over the hunter as their duties originally intended. But even far apart, Cas liked to pretend they could still hear Dean praying to them or just... think about them.

But Dean had always said pretending was for kids.

So, Cas set their expectations low. Sometimes, in the world they lived in, they just had to. They imagined Dean's crew walking back with his mangled body in their arms, torn by a croat or stabbed with a blade. So whenever Dean returned, it was revolutionary. Cas would stay behind nearly every time, though. Always did their best to, that is. Away from the crowd piling back in; just remain in their house. They'd peek from the window only to make sure Dean gets inside the safety of the camp okay.

He always did, and Cas would always sigh with just the same relief as always. Though Dean did say Cas tended to overreact.

Dean would often visit Cas, either just before or just after dinner. Sometimes they'd sit in an easy silence and enjoy their rations together. Cas liked those days most, as uncommon as they were. Sometimes Dean didn't eat at all, but he'd stay with Cas anyway. The company was always greatly appreciated whether Dean knew or not — Cas didn't get out much. Not that they couldn't, they just decided tending to crop or hiding in their home felt right (as right as anything could feel, that is). They didn't really fit in with the rest of the camp, which wasn't a shock to anyone, but it would still sting a little to hear Chitaqua discuss _the angel that fell for the ruined world._ Most times (the times Cas was in the same room when they talked about _that_ , which wasn't as often as it used to be), Dean would just leave without a word when that not-so-uncommon conversation gets quipped up, but other times, the times he had an unlucky hunt for searching for the colt, or couldn't find food or supplies on his run, he'd snap at them to shut the fuck up with his gun raised at their head. And while Cas wouldn't show it, they were always grateful for the (slightly overdramatic, terrifying but in a good way) support.

Cas pretended to be asleep when they heard Dean knocking at the door. They usually did, sometimes just for the fun of it, other times because they were just too tired to cooperate, and if Dean knew either of the reasons, he never commented on it. Some days, when Dean was storming up to Cas' place with such a tense energy the average person could sense it from a mile away, Cas wouldn't fool around. They knew better not to play games with Dean when he had bad days. And he did get bad days; everyone did, even before the world drowned itself. But in 2014, _this_ 2014, bad days were inevitable to happen more than three times a week. But that day, the day Dean arrived bearing gifts, was a good day. Cas smiled a little when they heard the door creak open as if they weren't expecting to hear it; Dean would always come in to make sure his friend was alive and well.

"Cas? Rise and shine," He said, shoving their shoulder, but Cas decided not to move. They silently dared Dean to show just how badly he wanted Cas up and moving. As pathetic as it was, they weren't _Castiel_ anymore. Not the Angel of Thursday anymore. In fact, angels looked down at them in disgust, they were sure. So, someone asking for their company was rather appreciated.

"You check on the crops yet?" Dean asked. So, maybe he did know Cas was awake. They sighed.

"Of course. Tomatoes are a little drowned, but they'll be fine." They replied in a whisper barely audible, hiding a smirk. If Dean knew Cas was faking their exhaustion out of boredom, he played along.

"Alright. Well, c'mon buddy. I got you something. Gonna keep it for myself if you don't get up."

"A gift?" Cas mumbled in a rougher voice than they intended.

Dean was leaning on his friend's back now. "Mmmm, guess you could call it that." He was fucking _heavy —_ had he gone limp? That bastard.

"Get offa me, I'm up." Cas shoved the hunter out of the way with a gruff laugh, holding out their hands and moving their fingers in a _hand it over_ motion, whispering _gimme gimme gimme._

When the two finally made eye contact, Dean was wiggling his eyebrows at the fallen angel. "What, no pleads for me?"

Cas rolled their eyes. "Highly suggestive. And no, you've got me curious now. I wanna see what you got me. And, _only_ if I like it, that is, all _please_ s and _thank you_ s will be in order."

Dean held one brow raised, and smirked. "Only if you like it?"

Cas nodded with a grin. Dean paused as if to think for a moment. With an enthusiastic sigh, he sat up straight and said, "Alright, you have a deal, cause I'm betting you'll love this. Close your eyes, keep your hands out."

Cas did exactly as they were told, tilting their head up to hide their impatience. When they felt Dean's hand brush up on theirs, they bit their lip to hide their massive grin when they felt whatever it was get placed in their hand. When they opened their mouth to ask if they could see yet, Dean had spoken first. "Go on, Cas."

Their big blue eyes flew open at once, and they looked down at the silver watch Dean had placed in his hand. They lifted it up to examine it, grinning widely when they saw the metal bee in the centre. The glass was cracked, but the minute arm still managed to move, so they didn't think anything of it. They looked at Dean with wide eyes, completely overjoyed and throwing the watch on their wrist immediately. Dean smiled so, _so_ sweetly at the fallen angel, patting them on the shoulder. "I take it you don't like it? I could take it back, put it on a croat or something. Maybe give it to Claire. I think she likes insects. Or— tormenting people with them."

Cas practically gasped, punching the hunter's shoulder. "Please, you're kidding, right? I... Dean, this is..." They stared at Dean for a moment, catching themselves before they got lost in those damned green eyes of his, "...I love it. It's fantastic, thank you very much Dean."

"'Course, Cas." Dean grinned again. And God help Cas, he was beautiful. "Now, c'mon buddy. You're patrolling with me."

Cas groaned at once. They _hated_ patrolling. Especially when Benny tagged along. Or Lee, God, did they hate Lee. They would trust a lion, or one of those raptors if they were still alive, with their life over Lee. "Is that why you got me this, Dean?"

Dean let out a slight whistle, looking a little sorry ( _well, good,_ Cas had thought). "Well, not really. Saw it during our run and thought you'd like it, and then I figured if I got you it you'd be up for patrolling..." Damn Dean's puppy dog eyes. He was exactly right; he had gotten Cas a gift, and now they'd return the favour and suffer through a patrol. They sighed, pinching their nose for a second. "Okay. Fine. But please don't tell me Lee's coming with us."

Dean didn't say anything. He earned another punch on the shoulder.

" _Ugh!_ Dean, really?" Cas snapped, adding on more quietly, "You know I can't stand him."

Dean just shook his head. "Cas, you two have some shit to work out, and the sooner you do, the better, alright? It'll be fine. And if he, I don't know, pulls a gun on you, I'll be there. Okay? Please, Cas? For me?"

Cas stared at him, absolutely fuming. " _Anything_ for you, Dean." They grumbled with a forced smile, looking at the bee watch, listening to the weak _tick tick tick_ of the minute arm, momentarily getting lost looking at the silver bee in the centre. It was a wonderful gift.

So, anything for Dean. Just as it always was.

"Please don't be like that." Dean frowned, dragging Cas off the couch, but it would take some effort, because they didn't really want to move; they were quite content on the couch. The worn in Lee-less couch.

"Cas. Please." Dean pursed his lips together in a thin line, "Just a couple of hours."

Cas chewed the inside of their cheek. With a strained groan, they finally stood up. "A couple of hours." They repeated with a finger pointed at Dean. Seemed like a lot, but they didn't really want to negotiate with their fearless leader, and they could use a nice walk (nice. Lee was not nice), so they decided to suck it up and stick by Dean's side, and as far away from Lee as possible. Which wasn't a great plan, but it just had to do. Cas sighed, dragging themselves with a mighty effort to follow Dean.

Just a couple of hours. That had to do.

The two walked out of his house, and Cas immediately shivered. It was cold without the shielding warmth of walls. "You know," Cas grumbled, "I pulled you out of Hell. I'm pretty sure that should free me from patrolling duties with Lee, right? So, good day, friend. I'll see you tomorrow." Deciding to leave it with that, they turned swiftly to run back into his home, but Dean grabbed them with a forced chuckle, though it sounded more like a sigh. "Cas. Come _on,_ don't be like that." He begged, holding onto Cas' arm with both hands, one firm on their shoulder. It slid down to meet the fallen angel's hand, and Cas swore their heart stopped. The warmth they felt in their home followed with Dean's touch. "Please. You're already out, anyway."

Cas looked down, and good lord, they were holding hands with Dean. They were actually holding hands. "Dean..." they tried once more, but they knew it wasn't going to work when they met eyes with the hunter again, his face frowning with a silent plea. "Alright, fine. You've got me, fearless leader."

Dean let go with a sympathetic smile, and Cas followed him. They were cold again.

Lee was waiting for the two by the gates already. Cas sighed. Dean already established this without them. "Lee," Dean greeted half heartedly, nodding to Risa. She rolled her eyes, opening up the gates for the three.

"Hello, Risa." Cas murmured quietly, receiving a nod from her as a reply.

"Hey, Dean, Cassie." Lee said with a smirk, patting the fallen angel on the shoulder. Cas shrugged out of the gesture, just out of instinct. They glared at Dean for any kind of _help,_ but Dean just shrugged. Cas sighed again.

"It's Cas."  
  


Cas was silent on the patrol, just as they intended to be. They trailed behind, like the third wheel a part of them just wanted to be (which was fine by him, third wheels _could_ be useful, no matter what Dean said). The other two were quiet as well, though. Normal for Dean on a patrol, especially at dusk, which it was about to be, but Lee would've run his tongue dry by now, normally just to annoy the shit out of Cas. But not even he had said a word. It was oddly quiet today, both inside Chitaqua's camp and the decaying life surrounding it. Sunsets weren't uncommon to be quiet, but even still patrols would have on average ran into at least one croat by now, but not even a squirrel has scurried passed. Cas was starting to get a little concerned.

"Something's wrong," they murmured, rather uneasily, readjusting the shotgun they were bothered by for quite some time now; that was probably the seventeenth time they've tugged the strap or threw the weight more on the left or right arm in the last few minutes, and it never got comfier. They huffed, quickening the pace to catch up with Lee and Dean, both of whom didn't acknowledge their worries. Though, they weren't sure they were expecting an answer. Maybe a sneering remark from Lee. Cat finally caught his tongue, Cas supposed.

Good things didn't last long at Chitaqua, though. Especially not for fallen angels (when is an angel falling ever a good thing, though?). Cas had spoken— well, _thought_ — too soon.

"C'mon, Cassie. Keep up." Lee was carrying his rifle in such a careless, almost mocking way, lowered down to the point where it nearly touched the ground with each step he took, and Cas would've groaned at that, but they decided they'd try to remain civil. For nothing and nobody but Dean's sake. "It's Cas," they corrected uneasily, mournfully thinking of Gabriel. Sometimes they thought the Archangel would love this world. Perhaps he'd take away the croats if little Cassie annoyed him with pleads just enough times for him to crack. They liked to think they were Gabe's favourite little sibling. Lee was certainly not Gabriel, or an Archangel for that matter, so Cas would never let him use that nickname. "Are either of you even worried about the lack of croats we've seen?"

Dean shrugged, possibly opening his mouth to either yawn or speak up, but Lee turned quicker and smirked at the fallen angel. " _Worried?_ I'm fuckin' ecstatic, bud. Means there's no more croats heading toward camp, and that's a good thing."

Cas rolled their eyes, glancing at Dean to try figuring out what _he_ was thinking, but the hunter was silent with a poker face once again. They sighed, looking at the ground as the three continued their walk, wishing they could remember what it felt to walk on a road just like this years ago, busy with _functioning_ cars, and just enjoy the smell of flowers and Spring. Cas quite enjoyed Spring when they still could. Even just to bask in the sun or let their wings touch rain. They wished they hadn't taken the smell of freshly cut grass or the sounds of walking on fallen Autumn leaves for granted. They closed their eyes, just for a second, just to try remembering, but to no avail. All that chased them was the smell of dead grass and rotting concrete. They accepted it with a remorseful sigh.

Cas' anxieties rose when a crow made its appearance in a nearby tree, cawing something awful at the trio. Didn't crows carry death where they went? Yes, Cas believed they heard that somewhere. They had thought it was bizarre; a bird carrying a horseman? It hadn't made sense until that day. It was years ago, when civilization was still... well, civilization. It was 2008, or possibly 2009, when they overheard folks at a cemetery discuss it. Yes, they remembered now. They were visiting a cemetery all those years ago, though they couldn't remember why... _No, that's right— Dean's mother was there._ He wanted to visit her grave. Cas wasn't sure why, but had joined him out of respect, and they remembered Dean not finding it in him to care. Giving him some space, Cas found themselves wandering the grounds, coming across a crow squawking some awful noise at them when two folks had walked by him. They couldn't have been older than 40.

"You know, crows are omens of bad luck." One had said.

"Yeah. Better be extra careful if one of them fuckers is following you." Said the other.

Cas, at the time, didn't think much of it. After all, how could a bird be a challenge to an even larger winged being? But now, flightless and fallen, they were _really_ nervous. Perhaps the crow was mocking them for not being able to fly after it. Or perhaps it was mocking them for the unlucky 'omen' it was cursing them with.

Another hour passed, and still no croats have showed. "I'm... I'm still worried," Cas had spoken up again, looking around with uneasy and wide eyes. Something was most definitely wrong, though their patrol mates didn't seem concerned by it. Dean, however, was quite good at remaining nonchalant in a situation of stress; he had to be with the work he used to be so dedicated with. Even still, two hours out of camp and they could have ran into five croats by now, and that was on a good day. But, now, for the first time since 2009, the world seemed awfully wrong once again. Cas was holding on tightly to their shotgun, attempting to hide their anxious shivers with it. The shivers weren't new, and they believed they had something to do with no longer having the warmth of their wings to shield them when things got bad. They supposed they never really got used to that feeling; and as far as they knew, no one noticed their occasional bristles. And now, it was almost summer, so they unfortunately couldn't blame the weather if someone were to notice.

Dean was looking down instead of straight ahead as he usually would, but his shotgun was still raised and ready to be used. Lee's rifle, however, was starting to make an awful scraping sound now that the nose found its place on the ground with Lee's insufferable dragging, and Cas did groan this time. "Lee, that's going to damage the rifle."

Dean glanced at the rifle— had he not noticed Lee's carelessness until then? His eyes trailed up to Lee with a scowl. "Pick it up, Lee. Be ready for anything."

Lee did what Dean had ordered him to do, but Cas couldn't silently gloat for long. "There's nothin' around for miles, Dean. And you know it. You only took us out here so he and I could talk about why he's got such a fuckin' problem with me. Isn't that right?"

Dean didn't answer, and Cas' cheeks were growing red with shame.

"Now all he's doing is moping about the fact he hasn't killed anything yet. So what is it, Castiel? What's your issue?"

They were silent, shotgun lowered in defeat, ashamed and rather offended. They knew Dean was staring, but for the first time in years, they couldn't find it in them to care. They were scrambling their mind for answer, an attempt to stand their ground and try sorting it out ( _for Dean, for Dean, for Dean_ ) but they was at a dead end. What the Hell were they to say to that? _Lee, you're a self obsessed bastard with your head up your ass?_ That didn't sound like sorting anything out but Cas' own ego, if they wanted to be honest. And that wasn't what Dean wanted, so the fallen angel simply stood their ground, ready for the defeat.

" _They_ have an issue with you for a damn good reason, Lee." Dean suddenly snapped, raising his own shotgun, gesturing to Cas' with his. "Now let's go figure out why we haven't run into one of these sons of bitches yet."

Cas followed along right behind Dean as soon as he began walking, their mouth momentarily open with shock, but it immediately turned into a smirk when they noticed Lee's disgusted hesitation before picking up the pace. That, Cas decided, was worth the agonizing hours from before.

Three hours since the three left camp and they had run into one croat. Cas had their knife out and ready to use; drew less attention that way, but Lee was quicker, as he always seemed to be. Maybe to boost his self esteem or impress the fearless leader; that's what Cas thought, anyway. Swinging his rifle up to aim, Lee took the croat out. Dean was _furious_ , and that was to say the least. Maybe Dean wasn't having such a great day as he led on to Cas back at their house. Or perhaps he was just as sick of Lee as Cas was.

"I don't get what the big deal is man, it's dead. That's what matters." Lee had snapped, kicking the corpse as if to prove his statement. Cas just cringed when they heard something snap in it.

Dean wasn't having it. Cas had no idea what was bothering him out of nowhere, but they decided it was best to keep quiet. After all, it was always logical to kill a croat with a blade if it was trailing along the roads alone. Save bullets and keep quiet. They supposed Dean had the right to be pissed. "You wasted a goddamn bullet on that thing, you could have just stabbed it! Cas had their knife out already." Dean shouted, pulling out his switchblade. To make a point or to stab Lee with it was unclear, and Cas was afraid to find out. Lee wasn't intimidated, though. And while they wouldn't admit it, that just scared the angel even more.

And for a rightful reason, too. The next second, Lee had his rifle pointed at Dean.

"Lee, what the fuck!" Cas suddenly spoke up, stepping between the two. "Look, i-it's okay, there's no croats around, we can just head back, right? Dean, _right?"_ They looked at the hunter desperately. And they knew how reckless they were being; stepping in between a fight between Dean and Lee was like an atomic bomb just waiting to be set off, but Cas had to try. They couldn't watch the two fight to death, even if Cas _did,_ rather guiltily, want to see Lee's body join the croat they were standing over at this very moment. Cas had the problem with Lee, and Dean wanted to fix it, but neither of the two wanted to figure out what was broken in the first place. Now, Cas was standing in between two armed men, and couldn't help but take the blame for the argument even starting.

Damn their rather sudden sensitivity. Emotions weren't supposed to be felt by someone— some _thing —_ like them. They just weren't built for it.

Cas had flinched when Lee cocked his rifle. "Move. Or I'll deal with you first."

Cas swallowed, staring at the nose of the rifle. It was scraped up and looked awfully damaged, but still functional. Maybe they were a little terrified of what would happen. A bullet to the leg? The skull? Would Dean take it for them? There were too many answers, and without their grace, Cas would never know (not that they wanted to find out). They didn't think Lee was always like that; that world changed people to an insane extent, and unfortunately for Cas, it changed Lee for the worse. They were preparing for the consequences when Dean jumped in again.

So perhaps he would take a bullet for them.

"Lee!" Dean snapped, stepping closer to him to the point where his chest was digging into Cas. They felt it as a prompt to take a step back, and so they did, as guilt-driven as it felt. "That is _enough._ We're going back." Dean punched Lee square in the face, taking the rifle while he still could, and swung it over his shoulder. Lee held a cold stare on the two, but Dean didn't seem to care; Lee was all bark and no bite now. He grabbed Cas' arm again, but it wasn't warm and welcoming like it was back at the house. It was cold and challenging, so out of instinct, they pulled out of the grip. Dean turned, looked down, and sighed.

"It's been a couple of hours, buddy. Let's go." He tried, turning around again to walk back. Cas chewed the inside of their cheek with instinctive worry, watching Dean trail off slowly with a tired drag. They refused to spare a glance at Lee, who still stood firm. It didn't seem like he wanted to go anywhere, but Cas sure as Hell did, so they followed after Dean, and maybe it was the primal angel instinct, but all they wanted to do was watch and protect Dean. Not anyone else. So that was exactly what they did.

"It's getting dark, Lee. Camp doors are closing with or without you." Dean called in a rough and strained voice, adjusting the rifle he had stolen from Lee minutes ago.

"Gimme back my rifle." Lee shouted. Dean stopped suddenly, and Cas had bumped right into the hunter's back. They murmured an apology, but Dean didn't acknowledge it when he turned around. "What'd you say?" Dean challenged, and Cas wanted to both pull him back and grab some popcorn and see where this would go.

"The rifle. Give it to me. I ain't goin' back, Dean." Lee elaborated. Dean narrowed his eyes, and Cas could only watch this with shock. They hadn't expected it to escalate so quickly; staying out in the world they lived in was practically a death sentence.

"Lee, it doesn't have to be like that. You can fix this shit, _we_ can fix it. You stay out here and that's suicide. Just come back to Chitaqua, you bastard." The hunter's reply didn't sound... sympathetic. Dean looked exhausted. Cas was wondering if the hunter would blame them when they got back to Chitaqua, maybe ignore them for a little while. They didn't mind; they'd let him have his space.

But then again, Cas always liked to set their expectations low.

The fallen angel met Lee's eyes when he started pointing to them. "You. You're the reason the world is what it is, and I can't live in the same walls you're in anymore. I'm a dead man trusting you, and I'm a dead man if I threaten your life, all because you pulled that son of a bitch out of Hell, which sounds even better than the fuckin' Earth. So, I'm leavin'. Gimme my gun, Dean."

The fallen angel didn't answer. How could they? The angels could have fixed this. They all left, and Cas was foolish enough to stay. But what was the true mockery? Their broken wings or the angels hiding in Heaven? They wouldn't have changed their mind if they were given the option everyday for the rest of their life.

Dean, visibly shaking now, put the rifle on the ground in front of the two, a cold stare on Lee. "I see you again... if _anyone_ sees you again, you're a dead man." He snapped, pointing to the gun on the ground, refusing to break the stare on Lee, "You take this when Cas and I are out of fucking sight. This is your last chance or I swear to god, a bullet goes right in your skull. Don't fuck it up."

Lee stood still, nodding slowly. "So long, brother."

Dean just shook his head. He wasn't Lee's brother. And Cas thought with guilt that he was going to say that. Dean and Lee were close, and the angel felt like he had fucked that up.

"Let's go Cas," Dean resorted to murmuring, resuming the trail back home, and Cas could not be more relieved that it was over. They could go back home, smoke a fuck ton of weed, and sleep until the cows come home.

When Lee was out of sight, with the sun was showing its last sign of light, about an hour until they were back to camp, Cas could not handle the silence any longer. "Dean, I-I didn't intend for that to—"

"Cas, don't. Just don't. I... don't blame you." Dean interrupted with the upmost instinct, "I dragged you out there. And honestly, Lee's... he's a dick." He admitted with a sad chuckle. In fact, he was _laughing._ And while Cas couldn't laugh along, they appreciated such a lovely sound. And furthermore, Dean and them seemed... okay, all things considering.

"Are you alright?" Cas blurted. Dean stopped laughing.

"I'm gonna be honest with you, buddy, I'm never okay anymore. Haven't been since Detroit. I'll figure it out, though." He patted his friend on the back, and Cas could've sworn his hand brushed past his shoulder blade, where his ruined, burnt out wings would rest forever. Maybe they were just imagining it. They had to of.

"I understand." Cas murmured, but did they _really_ understand? They had lost their siblings, each and every one of them, but didn't understand how to grieve. They didn't understand what loss truly felt like. _Dean_ knew, though, and suffered too much of it for Cas' liking. "Would you like to have a campfire? We haven't done one for a while, not since before—" Detroit. Cas hadn't asked for one, as much as they loved them, since Detroit. Sam was always there to enjoy the stale s'mores with them and Dean.

Dean was quiet long enough for Cas to think of it as him silently declining the offer, which they expected as soon as they registered they had even asked that.

"Sure," was the answer he got instead. It was a bit of a quiet, possibly reluctant, answer. But it was the answer Cas wanted for all that time. They grinned at the hunter, but they knew they wouldn't receive one in return.

"Hey, Dean?" Cas murmured. Dean glanced down at them.

"Yeah?"

"You ever hear why they call them bonfires?"

Dean groaned. "Cas, if this is another one of your puns..."

They laughed. "No, it's honest. Bonfires came from the words _bone fire._ They'd burn animal bones to ward off vengeful spirits. It was an offering, and a way to let go of those haunting you."

Dean raised a brow. "You serious?" He asked. Cas stared for a moment; they couldn't help it. Dean's eyes were glowing in the final golden hour of the sun, in such a bright and beautiful way that reflected the soul Cas had repaired six years ago. He was gorgeous. The fallen angel was once again thanking their father for allowing them to remain with Dean until their final breath and their spirit left the Earth to return to Heaven. " _Dead_ serious Dean. I suppose that was an intended pun." They grinned when they got a laugh out of the hunter. They'd savour that moment and relive it in Heaven; they knew so.

Yeah. They were more than okay, all things considered.

"Well, alright then. Warding bonfire. Could be fun."

As soon as the two got home, Cas spread the word of a community bonfire, and it was the first time they saw camp Chitaqua actually excited for something. They couldn't blame anyone; they might've been even more excited.

Dean had the bonfire ready just before Cas managed to tell everyone. Not everyone had showed; Jo, Claire and Kaia stayed in for the night. They had lost Ellen just under a week ago, so it was understandable. And Claire was... well, she was still unforgiving with Cas smoking out her father, which also checked out, as much as Cas didn't want to admit it. Regardless, they wished they'd turn up some time that night, though they wouldn't hold their breath.

Benny was the first of the group to show up, after Dean and Cas situated themselves around it. Soon enough, Chuck, Risa, Bela, Eddie, Buck, and Taylor all arrived at different times, before people began conversing. Bela brought some beer they were lucky enough to find earlier that day, and found a spot next to Taylor. Once everyone got their share of beer, Cas began speaking.

"Bonfires used to be an offering to spirits. A way to say goodbye, or a way to ward them off." They said, quietly enough for some around the circle find the need to strain to catch onto what they were saying entirely, "Perhaps we can bring that transition back once more tonight, and attempt to make tomorrow a better day."

Taylor smiled sadly at Cas, gently placing her hand just above their knee. "That's awfully sweet," she said, and Cas had returned the smile. She sat up straight, both hands in her lap, sparing a glance at Dean. "In a... supernatural sort of way. You must love _that,_ Dean." Dean's face had turned red, and he looked away.

Bela stood abruptly, and if she hadn't, Cas wasn't quite sure what they would to do try clearing the sudden tension. Bela cleared her throat, and held up her beer. "To Ellen." She started, and Cas shared a sympathetic smile to her. They contributed, raising their drink, and soon enough, everyone was raising and swigging their alcohol. Bela sat down, and it was silent once again, and everyone simply enjoyed the crackling of the burning wood. It had to of been fifteen minutes before someone else spoke.

"Can I join?" Jo asked quietly, her hands holding on tightly to a blanket wrapped around her. Cas smiled at her, and quickly shuffled closer to Dean, who moved closer to the edge of the log they were seated on, and Taylor shuffled closer to Bela, who did the same as Dean.

"Of course, Jo."

She sniffled and forced a smile, squeezing in next to them, staring at the fire with red eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. Cas nodded, gentlyputting a hand on her back, just for a moment.

"Are you alright, Jo?" Taylor embraced her friend in a side hug, and Jo leaned into it as she nodded reluctantly.

It was silent for a while after that. Cas flinched when Dean unexpectedly began to speak.

"Sam." Cas turned their head to him quickly, a frown expressed at him. "Dean," he whispered, but the hunter shook his head, standing up.

"That crazy son of a bitch. You know, he loved these things. I didn't really get why, but maybe he knew about this whole sacrificial bonfire crap. He, he uh, loved reading about that." He sniffed, pausing taking a sip of his beer, "I don't get why he did it. And I cannot apologize to each and every one of you enough. The world is gone because of us, but..." Cas thought he was going to finish it there, but after another strained pause, Dean continued. "I can't just walk with a brother that's not there anymore. He's gone. So I'm leaving him here tonight. May he burn with these goddamn flames."

Everyone sat in an agonizing silence, everyone taking their turn to take a swig, watching Dean take his, but he still stood. Cas was wondering if they should stand with him. They'd feel rather foolish towering over everyone at the circle, but they let Dean have that moment, and he nudged Taylor. "There anymore s'mores?" They whispered, glancing worriedly at Dean, but the fearless leader didn't hear them. _Phew_.

Taylor smiled at them with a nod, and handed them a s'more. Cas smiled his thanks, and took a single bite. They stared at the snack as the smile ran away from their face. "I hope your soul is at rest, Sam." They whispered, tossing the rest in the fire.

And then, Dean moved again. Catching Cas' eye, he did something the fallen angel wouldn't expect in a million years. Dean flipped off the sky, a saddened grin on his face. "Fuck you Sam. Goodnight, little brother." The fearless leader took another swig with the hand not giving the universe a finger. He glanced down at Cas, smiling at them, motioning to the sky with his head. Cas got the memo, and stood up next to him, awkwardly flipping off the sky.

"Fuck you, Gabriel. Wherever you are, and whatever you're doing."


End file.
